HELP! I Need Somebody: A Hard Day's Night

It's day 34 of unemployment, and I have confirmed that this is THE WORST!  However, I have really improved my interior design and home reno skills....watching a lot of HGTV.  Wondering about the future led me to this reflection on my working life to date.  Ohhhh momma, what a ride.

ANYONE HAVE ANY JOB OPENINGS!?!  *sigh*