Working Hard: Cartoon Business (Jan 5 2014)

Some weeks ago I had the opportunity to create custom cartoons for a REAL business!  Function Writing Group.  These weren’t done with my traditional method, Microsoft Paint.  Instead I used real pencil crayons and paper.  Real ol’ fashioned like. 

Here they are, or check them out here to see them in context.

Joining Hooves: Land Lovers on the Sea (July 7 2014)

New cartoon Monday!  Yesterday afternoon I asked my Twitter followers what they wanted me to draw a cartoon of.  This is in response to @funtionwriting‘s request to see “a horse marrying an elk on top of a giant sea turtle”.  Very specific.  And I like that!  So here it is:

Modern Fairy Tales: Black Beauty & the Beast (May 20 2014)

HAPPY TUESDAY!  Ahhhhh the beauty of a long weekend.  I spent mine making this!

In the name of springtime and love and equality and fairy tales and whatever else seems to be rolling through my weird brain at any given moment, here is a new cartoon.

What’s a modern adaptation of a fairy tale that YOU would like to see?  Or just anything that I should draw and colour nicely in the lines.  Tell me!  I like to draw-ring  

What Dreams are Made of: Conquering my Demons (Feb 11 2014)

A few weeks ago, somewhere between Christmas and doubting myself, I had an amazing dream.

I have a history of dreams involving shadowy demons that try to grab at me from under my bed.  I haven’t had one for a while since I’M A GROWN UP NOW, but then this one popped up.

In my dream, a dark, gnarly, clawed hand was coming up the side of my bed.  Immediately I get a tinge of terror in my heart.  But then I remember it’s only real if I let it be real.  Also, my childhood teddy bear, Cocoanut, was in my bed with me.  She has superpowers.

I kept swatting the hand off my bed, but it persisted and its persistence made me angrier and angrier.  Then the full body of this shadowy demon, not unlike the one in Insidious (ahh!).  I fought and fought, punching and using Cocoanut to scare it, using every ounce of by strength to defeat it.

Just when I thought I had succeeded and could go back to sleep, it came up beside my bed again.  Beyond furious, I got up on my knees, pushed it down onto the ground, jumped on top of it and started punching the HECK out of it.  THEN, I ripped off its arm, beat it to death with its own arm, and thrust the bony end of the arm through the demon’s chest.

I got back up on my bed, threw my arms in the air and cried: “I’M VANESSA LEVER AND I’M AWESOME!!”  All in flannel penguin-print jammies too.

Best. Dream. Ever.  I guess my subconscious is telling me that I should be more confident, there’s nothing to fear except fear itself!  All in all, a good start to a new year.  

Artsie Fartsie: Rock Out with Your (penis) Out

The last installment of my study of the nuuuuuude for Boobies & Wieners: An Immature Look at the Nude art show.  The show runs October 3-26, 2013 at Hot Art Wet City Gallery on Main Street in Vancouver.

This one's for all the dudes out there.  I didn't forget about your parts....you never let anyone forget, do ya?

Artsie Fartsie: The Fine Art of Cartoon Breast

I'M GOING TO BE IN AN ART SHOW! 
I'm serious.  It's called Boobies & Wieners: An Immature Look at the Nude.  And a couple of my cartoons are going to be featured.  YEY!  So I decided to create a couple more on the subject to add to the collection. 
This is a study on boobs:

Stay tuned later this week for another exciting immature look at my study on NUDITY!

Check out Boobies & Wieners, October 3-26, 2013 at Hot Art Wet City Gallery on Main Street in Vancouver. 

Heart & Soul: The Games We Play

Backstreet Boys ain't got nothin' on me!  Unless you don't like word play. 

Buzz Off: Waspocalypse 2013

Living out in the fresh air of the countryside (Burnaby), Boyfriend and I are really enjoying our new place.  The only issue:  GIANT WASPS!  And, of course, Boyfriend seems to be deathly afraid of wasps, so.....this is life!

Still Life: Real Art Needs No Pace

After seeing some art in a small gallery, I decided to make some real art on Paint today.  Inspired by the everyday things around me.  Art.

My Shit Jobs: An Artist's Curse

What have I been up to lately, you ask?  Well a number of things, none of which are all too exciting, none of which pay overly well, and none of which are furthering my career except to remind me to focus on what I really want to do lest I end up like this for life.  This is the promotions gig I've been doing a lot lately. 

I'm not really as downtrodden or angry as I may make this sound.  Just while I'm actually AT these jobs.   Uhhhhhhg. 

Don't Play With Your Food: Act It Out

Someone asked me what I had for dinner last night.  Naturally I acted it out for them, charades-style. 

They were delicious, by the way.

For more about me, visit vanessalever.com

HELP! I Need Somebody: A Hard Day's Night

It's day 34 of unemployment, and I have confirmed that this is THE WORST!  However, I have really improved my interior design and home reno skills....watching a lot of HGTV.  Wondering about the future led me to this reflection on my working life to date.  Ohhhh momma, what a ride.

ANYONE HAVE ANY JOB OPENINGS!?!  *sigh*

Musings of a Mad Man: Boyfriend Joke

I was sitting in bed writing possible funny ideas, and I asked Boyfriend to give me some funny ideas since he IS my muse.  He responded with this:

And then he just walked away.  And thus, a cartoon idea was conceived in our very bedroom.  Sheesh.

Pun Fun: Gracious Appliances

Ha.  Ha ha ha.  Pee hee hee.  If you don't get it, just get out of here.

Boyfriends: If Muscles Were Underwire

I live with a man now -- my boyfriend!  And during the five months when we were not living in the same city, it occurred to me that a good boyfriend is like a real good bra in many ways, for example: 

Perhaps it is worth noting that I was wearing a piece of shit bra and having a bad day when I thought of this idea.  Boyfriend fixed one of those. : )

Optirex: Helping You Buy Glasses Since --- Rrrrrrrooar!!

This cartoon is dedicated to my friend Joel.  As we were walking around Cambie and 7th before Christmas, we passed a factory optical called Optirex.  I had to do a double-take of the sign, and it DID say what I thought it said. So we just had to joke about how a T-Rex, or Optirex, must live in there, and what kind of dino this thing would be.  Who calls an optical "Optirex" and DOESN'T have this thought come to their head!? OPTIREX!!!!!

Losing the Love Handles: A Post-Christmas Miracle

Another Christmas, another few pounds.  But SO WORTH IT!  My Christmas was wonderful.  How was yours?  Oh, that's nice.  I spent about 12 days straight spending time with my family, friends, manfriend, indulging in the Four Food Groups of Christmas, and somehow I seem to have acquired a few L-Bs.  Weird.  Now it's time to resolve and resize! 

Time to buckle down so I can buckle UP.  My belt, that is. Good luck with your resolutions.  My real resolution is to read more books this year.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Horse Nonsense! An Un-Stable Thought Process

Cartoon jam-out on some silly thoughts with Boyfriend and Brother.  And probably a huge inside joke. 

HAHAHA!!  It's so funny!  Also, Horse-opoly is real.  I saw it in a mall.

Movie Musings: Halloween Movie Puns

This cartoon is an idea of my comedic muse/boyfriend.  We were talking about halloween and movies puns.  Yup, these are things we talk about....

Nervous Nerd Verse: Super Uncool Poetry

The rumours are true, my inspiration for these cartoons has been in a serious dry spell.  And like all dry spells, it's a bad one.
Then today, as I was sitting in Starbucks with my notebook and moustache writing like a pretencious artist, I came across some utterly uncouth poems that I wrote over a year ago for a regular comedy show in Edmonton called Hangtime (shout out!).  The theme was the human body, and I went on the show and read a few of these.  I was really into biology in high school (I almost went into Sciences.  What?!), in case you couldn't tell that I have an interest.  And this is what results when that appreciation smashes my geekdom in the face with pen and ink.

So here they are.  And if anyone who reads these never speaks to me again, I understand completely.  Just know that I am posting these out of desperation and with great hesitation.

This one I wrote today.  Nerd.

And.....the worst one.  Let this be a warning, you may want to stop here else you learn something.  Like how you don't ever want to associate with me again.  

Good day.